How+Can+We+Live+Knowing+We+Will+Die?

= = =“How can we truly live knowing that we will die?” =

 Death is not a topic that crosses our minds on a regular basis and neither is it a subject we like to discuss. On the contrary, we may constantly be imagining various ridiculous ways that we may die. It is interesting how we run far from death while also wanting to know more about it. While we live, we also die a little each day. Life is finite and no matter what one does, mortality is inevitable. Keeping this in mind, life can either be lived fearlessly with death on our side or in the dark. One can argue that because of the finite time on earth what is the point of all this while others argue that because of this we should enjoy life’s every moment. It is all about how death and dying affect us mentally and physically.  Death is like the ultimate wake up call. It can either be approached with a positive mindset or negative. Viewing death negatively halts us from doing the many things we want to do. Preventing yourself from living to the fullest brings about many side effects of its own. By not accepting our mortality, we put things off for later days and even stop ourselves from taking part in opportunities that pass our way. While not accepting death can cause destructive efforts, it can also make it harder for us to cope with the reality death of our loved ones along with our own in the not too distant future. With death at our side but choosing not to accept it can cause many mental problems like stress, worry, and anxiety.  Knowing that we all will meet our end, we somehow still carry this anxiety towards death for various reasons of our own. We, as human, are afraid of what is to come but we do not know exactly what. Death is mysterious and what precisely will happen after dying is hard to comprehend. Laurie, who wrote an article over Five Ways To Accept Your Death, stated “..it’s our very own ignorance that keeps us afraid. We fear what we do not know, and we know almost nothing about death” (Laurie). While we may make assumptions about the beauty of life after or read about it in religious texts, it is not soothing to know that one day you will cease to exist while we decompose underground. It is also difficult to stay motivated to do any work realizing that all this hard work may be for nothing. Because of these views, we guard ourselves including the ones we love. The uncertainty of death pushes us to limit ourselves due to us believing anything could happen. While you may believe that you are helping yourselves, it may be doing more bad than good. We let life pass right in front of our very eyes and without realizing how much we have missed out on. We forget to live in the moment, to value the people in our lives, to live in the now, and to enjoy the little things in life.  Psychologically speaking, our fears of death can leave us urging to retreat from life. Someone with Death Anxiety experiences a “morbid dread of death,… and the presumed nothingness that comes with death” as stated by Stephen A. Diamond, a clinical and forensic psychologist (Diamond). The thought of death leaves a person feeling empty and hallow. Sigmund Freud, who struggled with his own death, argued that “at bottom no one believes in his or her own death.” While we accept our mortality, there is a part of us deep down that stays in denial and worry. When our loved ones pass away, we are affected by the event to many degrees. Coping with death and grieving is an important part of overcoming the pain but with anxiety it can become hard to do so. Avoiding or chronically repressing death anxiety, it likely underlies various psychological disorders. Furthermore, not only are we affected mentally but also by our religion, culture, and region we live in. We think and believe most of the things based off what we are taught and surrounded by; such as the views on death and the afterlife. Some view death as the transition from this life to the next in which they hope to attain a Heavenly place. Other religions believe in the endless cycle of birth, death, and rebirth (Diamond) which, for some, can be seen as less appealing. On the other hand, our views on death can be changed due to violent events impacting the safety of our well-being and our loved ones. Dying and ceasing to exist can trigger fear but this can also be the result of violent killings and deaths around us that promote fear and a yearn for protection. As we become aware of surrounding terror, we often look for security and comfort such as taking part in illegal activity or drugs. It can all simultaneously evoke negative feelings towards the existential death when viewed in such a way. Death, while it is a grim subject, can bring about a better lifestyle when accepted whole-heartedly. While death is as gruesome as it may be, we often paint death as beautiful in terms of where it will take us. Caroline Morely states that we are not spared the gruesome details. Everything about death, the colors, smells, texture, feelings are a far cry from the sanitized version of death (Morely). However, even with all this frightening and devastating reality of death, we choose how we let this fear inspire our decision making. Accepting death does not make it easy to live with, rather it will make it easier to grieve and move forward. Embracing death allows us to appreciate the finitude of life. Diamond states, “death anxiety can be a positive phenomenon, forcing us to face our finitude and our personal responsibility to live passionately, lovingly, creatively, and meaningfully as we can while we are still here” (Diamond). Rather than living life depressed and unhappy with yourself, it is healthier to acknowledge, accept, and use it to live more authentically.  Ironically, death, of all topics, goes hand in hand with life. In order to discuss the topic of death, it is necessary that we talk about life. Dr. Judith Rich, author of “Knowing I Will Die Someday, How Then Shall I Live?” begins her article by saying “I don’t want to talk about death. I want to talk about life”. Death brings about much pain as life goes by, but it is also the very thing that allows us to live every moment happily. Because of our mortality and precise time of death, we learn to live in the now. As years go by, our mind becomes trained to make goals for the future and we start planning and preparing for it that we forget to live in the now. This is the silver lining of death. Death is frightening but on the bright side, it gives value to our lives. Keeping in mind that we will die one day, we force ourselves to make important decisions concerning what we want in life, what and who do we value. Dr. Rich, a former cancer survivor, states, “some deeper part of me was not buying it. I was living the life I thought others wanted for me, not the one I wanted for myself. I could not fit myself into that box, even though I was the one who had constructed it” (Rich). With death on our side, we must find “our purpose, what makes us happy” and dive into that. A social psychologist, Nathan Heflick, further supports this argument saying “when people are aware that life is more scarce, they focus more on positive things, and less on the negative things” (Heflick). Understanding the you can die any day, you allow yourself to devote more time to relationships, yourself, and promoting a positive atmosphere all in all.  Accepting death, for some, may be the most difficult task however conversing with others about the topic and providing some insight on your thoughts would allow you to gain comfort. Death will overcome all who live and breathe which makes us all equal and relatable in this way. Approaching death from a different angle could be more beneficial. Rather than trying to fight the inevitable death, disease, and dread of the unknown, allowing yourself to surrender is healthier. “This surrender brings healing, acceptance, and peace. Accepting your death makes every day of life sweeter and more precious” (Laurie). It would be terrifying to know that you have spent most of your time consumed by superficial, meaningless, trivial parts of life. Instead, spend your energy and time elsewhere. Furthermore, accepting your death makes you “strong, fearless, and courageous”. When you understand the value of life, it makes you strong-willed and determined to live life how you want it to be. The quality of life increases as so does your attitude towards it all.  As gruesome as death may be, it is an inevitable part of our lives. Knowing that we will die makes it harder to live our lives to the fullest. However, while death may trigger fear for most it can also promote a healthy lifestyle when accepted whole-heartedly. Death, which ironically goes hand in hand with life, affects how we view this world and how we go about living life. Life without death may not be appreciated enough. With death at our side, we know we can die at any moment. Because of how scarce life is, by accepting this fact we can open ourselves up to more opportunities and take part in activities we may not have done so before. If life were infinite, we would take time in doing what we want. Death forces us to make decisions in the present because our future is not guaranteed. While accepting your death may not make it an easier life, it will continuously give us purpose to keep going while also making it easier to cope with death of the ones we love. The existential fact of death can either hurt you or move you forward. It is all a matter of perspective and how we let it influence us and to what degree. As Henry David Thoreau stated, “when it comes time to die, let us not discover that we have never lived”.

=Works Cited Page: =

Diamond, Stephen A. "Got Death Anxiety?" Psychology Today (2016). Heflick, Nathan. "The Psychology of "YOLO"." Psychology Today (2013). Laurie. "Are you scared to die? 5 tips on accepting your death." Blossom (2017). Morely, Caroline. "How do I keep working if I'm going to die anyway?" Motivation - How do I keep working if I'm going to die anyway? (n.d.). Rich, Dr. Judith. "Knowing I Will Die Someday, How Then Shall I Live?" Huffington Post (2011). Sheldon Solomon, Jeff Greenburg, Tom Pyszczynkski,. "The Worm at the Core." Penguin Random House (n.d.).

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