Can+Children+Grieve?

media type="youtube" key="YR9eokO8cFA" width="504" height="284" align="right" Countless research has been done to see if and how children are capable of grieving. All children, no matter the age, can understand the loss of someone in their life. Corr states, “Even infants experience and react to the absence of familiar voices and feel of different arms that hold and try to comfort them” (1, 445). The child may not completely understand the concept of grief, but they can sense the absence of a person in their life. Often, parents and adults unconsciously make children feel like they should not grieve. Kids who experience grief are often told to “be strong.” While this sentiment is nice, it is not the best or most appropriate thing to say to grieving kids. Society defines “being strong” as not crying, standing tall, and not fully embracing your feelings. This often can lead to kids believing they should not cry, miss their loved one, or be sad. In addition to this, many children do not do not properly know how to articulate or understand their feelings (4, 414). Being told to “be strong” leads to concealing emotions because of a lack of understanding. This suppression of their feelings could potentially lead to an abundant of other psychological and developmental problems. There are many different behaviors children will begin to show after the loss of someone in their life. Some are healthy and some could be problematic. It is essential parents and adults know the difference between healthy and unhealthy behavior patterns. Selekman shows, in Table 1, different behavioral patterns to look out for. She states, “Detachment/indifference, sleep problems, feelings of self-punishment, persistent anger, social withdrawal/isolation” (4, 415). These behaviors may seem “normal” when a child loses a loved one, however, they are hurting the child. Not addressing these negative behavioral patterns create more cognitive and developmental issues as the child grows up.



**__ What Can Adults Do? __**
There are many ways parents and adults can help these grieving children. The first is to acknowledge that children do grieve. Their grief is not the same as adults, but it is still very real (1, 448). “Do not judge, dismiss, or discredit bereaved children and adolescents’ thoughts, feelings, and reactions; acknowledge feelings such as sadness, anger, guilt, fear, confusion, and loneliness, they are normal” (1, 449). Another way parents and adults can help children dealing with loss is to make them feel safe and comfortable. Give the child a space where they know their feelings are natural and okay to be expressed. “However, parent and adult support systems can help adolescents feel safe and supported and know that someone is available for them” (4, 415). Therapy or counseling is an invaluable space for children to go while grieving. It allows them to let out their raw emotions with a trained specialist. It also helps a child break down and understand their feelings. Corr states, “Facilitate play, artwork, creative writing, and storytelling as natural forums for expressing concerns and feelings” (1, 449). In a study done to see if artwork intervention affected children grieving, fascinating results were produced. “In our study, art making significantly improved the effect of grieving children. Our results suggest that clinicians should consider utilizing individual art making as a therapeutic technique in their future interventions with grieving children, particularly if they are seeking a way a way to decrease the short-term negative effect that may occur naturally” (2, 96). Giving children an outlet, such as art and creativity, is an engaging way for them to express their feelings.

**__ Conclusion __**
C hildren may not understand the whole concept of grief to its fullest, but they still can feel and notice the loss of a loved one. They grieve differently based on their age and show different behavioral patterns when experiencing grief. Getting involved in local organizations targeted to help bereaved children is an impactful way to help. For example, in Salt Lake City, Utah, there is an organization called, “The Sharing Place.” It is a place where children, aged 3-18, can go to receive therapy. One of their founding principles is “Acceptance, caring, and support are essential in healing process” (6). Adults can help by volunteering or donating. Parents and adults must stop belittling a child’s grief and begin tending to their emotions. Grieving the loss of someone is one of the hardest things anyone will have to go through in their lifetime; it is crucial children go through the grieving process in a healthy way to avoid further problems in their lives. = =

__ Citations __
1. Corr, CA. “Children, Adolescents, and Death: Myths, Realities, and Challenges. A Statement from the Work Group on Palliative Care for Children of the International Work Group on Death, Dying, and Bereavement.” //Death Studies//, 1 Jan. 2007. //CINAHL// //Plus with Full Text [EBSCO]//, doi:PMID: 10558508 NLM UID: 8506890. Accessed 23 Sept. 2017. 2. Hill, Kaylin E., and Tara T. Lineweaver. “Improving the Short-Term Affect of Grieving Children Through Art.” Art Therapy: Journal of the American Art Therapy Association, vol. 33, no. 2, Apr. 2016, pp. 91–98. Art & Architecture Complete, EBSCOhost, doi:10.1080/07421656.2016.1166414. Accessed 6 Nov. 2017. 3. Keenan, Amanda. “Parental Loss in Early Adolescence and Its Subsequent Impact on Adolescent Development.” //Journal of Child Psychotherapy//, vol. 40, no. 1, Apr. 2014, pp. 20 35. //Psychology & Behavioral Sciences Collection//, EBSCOhost, doi:10.1080/0075417X.2014.883130. Accessed 23 Sept. 2017. 4. Selekman, Janice. “Grieving Children: Are We Meeting the Challenge?” //Pediatric Nursing//, vol. 27, no. 4, ser. 414, Aug. 2001. //Education Source//. Accessed 23 Sept. 2017. 5. TedxTalks. “No Child Should Grieve Alone.” //YouTube//. 26 October 2015. @https://youtu.be/YR9eokO8cFA 6. The Sharing Place | Grief Support for Children, Salt Lake City, Utah - Home, Third Sun Productions, 2012, www.thesharingplace.org/.